User blog:Ambruh/Stop.
Hello everyone. I'm mainly making this blog so I can get some things off my chest about the whole Joey/Persona deal- or thoughts that I have been keeping in for awhile now. Hopefully it'll open your eyes to a different side of the story, or it may just all seem biased. It really depends on how you see it I guess. Now before I get started, I would like to state that this may be very confusing, and I know this because I'm not the best with explaining things thoroughly. Hopefully it'll make sense. Joey, before the whole fiasco, was seen as one of the friendliest people around, and a lot of people had high respect for him. Life was pretty good, yes? However on Alyssa's side of things, she was a little infamous within the borders of LMR and miiverse. I'm not trying to point the finger at either website but many people made fun of her for her use of hashtags, passion for scarves, etc. Probably wasn't the best feeling- yet for those who loved her, they had high standards for her.. or most of them did, it seems. What I'm trying to get at is that after finding out that these two people who aren't entirely similar were the same person, majority of the group flipped out and got pretty scarred by it. I don't understand how it hurt some people who literally didn't even care for Alyssa. Maybe they felt betrayed somehow? I know I wasn't one of those people, I know that I was barely affected- but by all means, when finding out that two of your best friends were hand in hand the same being all along, your line of reality most likely collapsed a bit. Though, this may seem negative, and it kinda is.. nobody focused on the fact that it can also be taken in other ways. Your conscience, going from action, to feeling, to thinking, can choose your own consequences or benefits out of what you make it. So if you felt a back-stab, you would've thought Joey was evil or something, and you'd want to abandon him at all costs and never forgive him for making you feel like a puppet. However if you learn from it in a positive aspect, and see that having one friend with the personalities of both of them inside of that one particular person means that you actually had double respect for them the whole time, you'd soon realize that nothing really changed. Just think of it like this, Joey is Alyssa. Like he says all the time "there's the Alyssa inside me." He is Alyssa. Alyssa is existent within Joey. Though this may seem mentally wrong, and physically impossible- it's the huge truth. The only thing he lied about back then was that he/her killed themselves. Everyone says that it's a persona- but it's actually a living characteristic inside of him that he built around because he couldn't find a way to cope with it, it was like there was another person inside of him almost. This is a real thing people have. I'm not diagnosing Joey with it or anything but there are people who believe that they are more than one person in real life. I learned about it in psychology. Like if you talk to one of those people they believe are them and say that they other person they're trying to be is just them- they wont take you seriously, and they'll act like the other person is a real being. I know Joey doesn't have this, but he could have a slight case of it because like all mental illnesses, they have a range from extreme to very little. All he needs is support to get through it- not people crapping on him instead. He created two other living traits he had held onto to make the community more lively, and to escape the stress he had as Joey himself. There were no negative intentions for this, but of course many had rolled their eyes right past it- thinking "ohhh, maybe if we get him to feel bad about this he totally will stop" Well no. It'll create more routes for him to want to escape through so that he can run away from his own living hell. You know when people make a mistake or when you make a mistake? It doesn't feel to good- and you only wanna hide in embarrassment. Imagine losing all your friends to something that's literally been eating you alive and stressing you out entirely. That would make things even worse for you, knowing no one can even forgive you for what you've done when really- those people still exist your eyes. They aren't fake personas. They're parts of Joey, they are him. So it must hurt even more when people don't accept those parts of him and instead say he did wrong. That everything he did for the community as Alyssa or Kindling or was only a burden. That they, the people who are make up who Joey actually is, are only burdens. The reason why he feels so down, is only since he doesn't want to see the disappointment that wraps around those individuals as a part of him so he's chooses to make them see a brighter light, so people can see them as who they're really supposed to be instead of pushing them down, pretending they don't exist, pretending that they're fake- that those personas aren't inside of him- only on the outside to float around- to see as horrible visible flaws of the past so that people can hold grudges against it, and make him feel ashamed of ever being these real beings inside of him that were once loved, that he thought he should bring out so that he can show the monster inside of him. Most people cried wolf, and ran away. He stuck to trying to prove that he's still the same nice person he still was, eventually people pushed him down for being nice. Saying that kindness is the greatest evil, that he's just trying to get advantage of others- using them for his own benefit... But would you really rather he act not like himself? In my book, any other sign of emotion is even more depressing, kindness is a medicine. You'd just be shaping him into something even worse, for more people to hate. With this case, it's more like you'd be controlling him- instead of him being the one using you. The creations that live inside of him are still there, they may physically look the same- because Joey can't look like or be Alyssa, Kindling, or Auburn all the same time, nor act like them all that same time, but they're still living inside of him. Nothing's changed. They're still here. All of the things you might've seen as road kill after you found out the truth, they're all still here. They may not seem like they are, but they are- and they live within Joey. If you can't handle that, if you think that this is completely crazy, then you might be right. Or maybe you're just too ignorant to realize that some people can't see themselves as having certain personalities, and thus they create another being they see as real but not as themselves to cover up the distinction between their characteristics even though they are the same person- but that individual they don't see that way. When Alyssa said that she was going to commit suicide- or that people assumed she was dead- he might've actually saw Alyssa as dead in his mind. It's not as crazy as it sounds. In the bare minimum, 4 people inside one person is the same as one four people inside different bodies, it's just you can't see those people who are alive inside of that one person making it hard to cope with how they all can be real if they're not there and that one person is playing the roles as all of them. This is where is gets a little odd, it's more like there's four souls trapped inside the same conscience that control that one person to act in different ways. The number of personalities that take over can differentiate between the person, and they can create more or get rid some over time. In Joey's case- when his current conscience as Joey knows it's wrong to play the role of multiple people, his guilt takes over and he gets paranoid about it, yet he continues to do so when he's being taken over by the other personalities that live inside him- saying that they're real people that are looked up upon and trusted. As Joey though, he knows that other people will see them as fake. Thus it's a little twisted fate that he has, trying to differentiate what's true from what's false. He doesn't see the past much of a problem as others do- because those souls that still live within, are real to him. He sees the memories he made with those people as those other beings as real and valid- while they see it as something shameful and wrong that they should forget. He probably feels really hurt all around from this, and now this is where the connection ties. The only way to remove this back pain of a problem to all of us is that we treat with the utter most respect, that we adore all of him, instead of just one side. The more people who accept him for who he is, the more he wont run away and cower- the more he wont create another image for people to look at, for him to jump into, to get away from what has consumed his own image. It's a bad habit but the people who keep pushing that habit into continuing, are the ones who constantly shit on him about things. Whoever adds to that pile and contributes just a tad bit extra, makes him want to start all over again just that much more. We all have our problems and scars from this, but those of us still holding a grudge against a mental illness that he probably can't and/or couldn't control too well are making his problems with depression, stress, and who knows what else even worse. Take a step back from what your doing, realize that you aren't the only one who's dreading the past if you are, and that the reason you're dreading it is the reason that their mental health is at a greater risk because they feel that they should be ashamed for what they chose to show- and for some reason all of the positive things were forgotten, only to leave the negative there to eat the rest of the sanity he has in store. Do you really want to change Joey into something he isn't again, and maybe this time permanently because you hate that much for something that happened almost a year ago? Would you rather two people you used to love and enjoy in one person dead? Are you that selfish and messed up in the head that you can't even see what your own mind is telling you? All of you who left, who hate Joey now for this, little did you realize that your brain is literally only revolving around unhelpful thinking. Look it up. It's probably the reason why the majority of you who felt betrayed can't move on, because you aren't even trying when you should- because you're too scared to accept that this mental disease is true. That it just seems to stupid and unreal... but oh... It's very real. It's called Dissociative Identity Disorder, and it's not impossible to have. For you who are choosing to lean against the past even after a year, constantly guilt tripping Joey whenever you get the chance, you're the ones who are making everything much worse than it ought to be. I understand your pain. I understand that finding out this hurt you long ago and still does, but god it's a mental disease that isn't too rare, you're making fun of him- shaming him for something he may have that's mentally already scarred his brain which is just wrong. Most people who have it don't even realize they have it because they think their completely sane, it may hurt Joey to read this himself- to learn that I think there's something wrong with his conscience- but the thing is I don't. I think he's find just the way he is and I will accept and support him for as long as I can. The thing that's wrong here is those people who dwell over this and just find it breathtakingly backstabbing. Maybe they didn't know this was a thing, but they sure as hell do now so they sure as hell can stop. He needs respect. I don't care if you don't give a fuck, if you don't you can ignore us and mind your own business- but I don't want to anybody pushing him around to make things worse for all of us. That'd be huge dick move. I apologize for getting so worked up, excuse me, but I'm sick of this. I'm sick of a lot of things. Why can't this drama going back forth through places just stop for good? Joey's a great leader as himself, he just needs to be healed from something he's been shaming himself for so long over, when there's nothing to be ashamed of at all. People who see it the wrong light, they need to get the hell out if they can't accept this. It's like shaming someone who has depression, or bipolar disorder. That's how wrong it is. Category:Blog posts